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The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a guide to personal freedom. It is a self help book that is based on the wisdom of the Toltec. Throughout the book, Ruiz helps readers transform their mindset and perspective to create a better life for themselves.
The Toltec were known throughout Mexico as women and men of knowledge. He refers to them as “Scientists and artists who formed a society to explore and conserve the spiritual knowledge and practices of the ancient ones. They came together as masters and students at Teotihuacan, the ancient city of pyramids outside Mexico City as the place where ‘Man Becomes God.’” A lot of what they taught is very informative and can still be applied today. Ruiz applies the teaching of the Toltec and his personal experiences into four agreements we must make with ourselves if we want to be free.
The first agreement is, “Be Impeccable with Your Word”; when we’re impeccable with our word, we have to speak with integrity. We have to speak with honesty and morality. He suggests you say only what you mean and to avoid speaking harshly about yourself or gossiping about others. Instead, use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. He explains, “The word is not just a sound or a written symbol. The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think and thereby to create the events in your life.” With your word you can create a life you love or you can create a life that destroys you. He mentions that the human mind is a fertile ground where seeds are planted. The “Seeds” are our opinions, ideas and concepts. If you plant a seed, it grows. Your word is equivalent to a seed and a seed is equivalent to a thought. Your word becomes thoughts that grow in your mind.
The second agreement is, “Don’t Take Anything Personally.” In this chapter, you learn that nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality; their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. Ruiz states, “Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. What they say, what they do and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own mind.” If someone says something offensive to you, don’t take it personally, because that person is dealing with his or her own feelings, beliefs and opinions. He discusses how by taking things personally, you set yourself up to suffer for nothing. “Humans are addicted to suffering at different levels and to different degrees, and we support each other in maintaining these actions.” With that being said, those who do not disassociate themselves with this, their addiction to suffering is nothing but an agreement that is reinforced every day.
The third agreement is, “Don’t Make Assumptions.” Ruiz instilled in his readers to find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as possible to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama because if we can do this, we can completely transform our lives. Ruiz says, “We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking. We take it personally, then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word.” By doing this, there’s space to misunderstand when we assume. We usually end up creating a problem and drama for no reason. A quote that stuck with me throughout this chapter was when Ruiz explained, “We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, and judge the way we judge.” By doing this, we justify our thoughts and feelings, which is not okay especially when trying to grow and break old habits. With clear communications, our relationships with others will change and everything will become clear.
Lastly, the fourth and final agreement is, “Always Do Your Best”. Throughout this chapter he explains why it’s important to do your best because your best is going to change from moment to moment. Whether we’re healthy or sick, our performance of our best is going to differ, however under any circumstance and situation, doing your best will be beneficial to you. You will avoid self judgement, self abuse and regret. A quote that is important to me to remember is when Ruiz stated, “Regardless of the quality, keep doing your best. When you overdo, you deplete your body and go against yourself, and it will take you longer to accomplish your goal. But if you do less than your best, you subject yourself to frustrations, self judgement, guilt, and regrets.” If you always do your best, there is no way you can judge yourself. If you don’t judge yourself, there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame and self punishment. He also explains, “It is not an easy agreement to keep, but this agreement is really going to set you free. When you do your best you learn to accept yourself. But you have to be aware and learn from your mistakes.” When we are learning from our mistakes, we have to practice, look honestly at the results and keep practicing. This increases our awareness.
After reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, I gained a lot of insight and knowledge. This book has changed and shaped my new mindset. I recommend this book for anyone who has been questioning themselves, wants to better their reality and life, or to anyone who would like to look into the teachings of knowledgeable ancestors. I believe if more people gave this book a read, it will change our perspectives and then we can in fact better not only ourselves, but our world as a whole.
